we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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