The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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