Umm I'm too high to move.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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