what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
