in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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