I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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