mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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