bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
