So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
