Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
