WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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