I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
