just come out here and I will go home with you...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
