i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
