Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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