I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
