Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
one might say we're banned from that church
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
