Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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