She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
