are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
