I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
