All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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