i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
