Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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