we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just invented taco cereal.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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