I think i sorta joined a cult last night
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
