R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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