Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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