This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
