I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
