I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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