k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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