Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize