I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
