Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Two words: nipple clamps
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