She's JV to your varsity
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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