so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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