We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
