You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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