how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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