I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
