Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
