Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
