She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
