I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
