I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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