she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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