Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just puked most of my soul out..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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