i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
