Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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