So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
