They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
