i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
