I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
