The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
