1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
