I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
