I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
