Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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