Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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