he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
