you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize