I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
