Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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