I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
