Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
thus making me awesome and them whores
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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