I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
