speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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