And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
